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[personal profile] zaboraviti
меня убивают
ничего не изменилось - ничто, ничто не вызывает у меня такую экзистенциальную тоску. а потом еще где-нибудь обязательно заиграет кусочек темы Departure, и всё, я распадаюсь на водород и кислород, два к одному



посмотрела последнюю серию, сходила на реддит.

Unlike most people in this universe, Kevin has been dealing with severe depression beyond the circumstantial (if you can call it that) for some time, or more accurately a really debilitating mental illness including sleepwalking, hallucinations, fugue states, etc. This appears to be a familial disease that he watched his father suffer from and now is watching his daughter show early symptoms of. All that alone could make someone deeply fucked up and suicidal, even before the Departure. But since then he has also dealt with losing his wife to a crazy nihilist cult torturing the neighborhood he's trying to protect, the disappearance of his son (to what was also essentially a crazy cult), a dog-murdering stalker buddy, losing his job and being judged by his community, blackout-kidnapping a woman and watching her kill herself as a sort of hyper-personal Fuck You Kevin move, suddenly gaining and then suddenly losing a child, a whirlwind move to a new town with more insane neighbors, those insane neighbors killing him twice, that new town he was trying to keep safe being burned to the ground because he was enjoying his second stay at the hotel of the damned... Now the guy that killed him is sporting Urkel glasses and boinking his wife while they pull scams on the town, his more-or-less-brother-in-law is writing a Newer Testament about him despite his indications that he's not cool with that bro, and also he's still dealing with the fact that he's tried to kill himself like a dozen times and he has seen the sketchy other side and life doesn't make sense anymore. I mean, God bless him, I would have been losing my shit just from the Jarden earthquakes. God bless him and Kevin bless us all

кажется, осознание масштабов изощренности происходящего с Кевином несколько помогает справиться с экзистенциальной тоской. буду перечитывать после каждой из оставшихся шести серий.
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