More radio joy

[zaboraviti]

переслушав три раза Double Acts и со вздохом запустив экипаж MJN Air в двести сорок восьмой полет вокруг алфавита, возжелала больше хорошего. и поскольку мне, кажется, не хочется слушать ничего, что не насмеяно мозгами Джона Финнемора или похожими мозгами, нашла next best thing. That Mitchell and Webb Sound - скетч-шоу Дэвида, понятное дело, Митчелла и Роберта, конечно, Уэбба. и с ними все их обычные друганы - Оливия Колман, Джеймс Бахман, Джесси Армстронг, Сэм Бейн, Марк Эванс, Джон Финнемор, Саймон Кейн... пять веселых сезонов.

сперла у кого-то транскрипт одного из тех скетчей, что сегодня во время уборки слушала.

Оригинал взят у piapiapiano в More radio joy

Yesterday's That Mitchell & Webb Sound featured my favourite sketch of theirs (favourite for reasons more than plain comedy), which I hereby transcribe for your reading pleasure.

Heavenly Voice1: Ah, hello. Simon, isn't it.

Simon: Yes.

Heavenly Voice2: Good, good. Welcome to the afterlife.

Simon: Am I ... dead?

HV1: Well, yes. That's very much the point of the afterlife.

HV2: Hence the name.

Simon: So, er, are you going to judge me?

HV2: Oh no no no. That's between you and your god or gods. We're only the recorders . Strictly non-judgmental.

HV1: No. We're just here to let you know how you did in achieving your life's work, and the final result is 7,345 out of a possible 128,312!

Simon: What's that?

HV2: That's the number of times you managed to beat your computer at Solitaire.

Simon: Solitaire?

HV1: Yes, you know: Patience, red queen on black king -- all that stuff.

Simon: B-b-but that wasn't my life's work!

HV1: Mmm. Wasn't it, though? It was definitely the single activity to which you devoted the most time and effort whilst on Earth. We've got the figures.

HV2: Why, what did YOU think it was?

Simon: I don't know! My career, my family...

HV1: No. That's really more in the category of stuff that just happened to you.

HV2: Yes the one driving force in your life to which you returned again and again like Ahab pursuing the white whale was trying to beat your computer at cards. [beat] Nothing else came close. That's where you really put the hours in.

Simon: How many hours?

HV1: 10,329. Or about a year and a quarter.

HV2: Which, considering you died at 29, is really rather impressive.

Simon: No, i-it can't have been that long!

HV2: Well, we must admit we were surprised.

HV1: We did wonder for a while if perhaps you got a sort of religious ecstasy from the animation at the end where all the cards jump off the screen.

HV2: Yes, but then we noticed you tended to skip that bit and just start another game. Still, not for us to criticize. I suppose at least you had a lot of fun.

Simon: Not really! It was just something to pass the time!

HV2: Oh.

HV1: Oh. Well. Look on the bright side: it worked!

HV2: Yes, all the time you had has now been successfully passed. Well done, you.

запомнилось еще про Льюиса и Морза, очень смешно, но почти все детали, к сожалению, пролетают мимо меня, потому что я знаю только то, что в "Индеворе" (танцую в предвкушении скорого третьего сезона!). оставлю кусочек.

- oh, we must invite Detective Sergeant Lewis.
- oh, yes, he's become a real pal since we were exonerated over the death of that violinist.
- he has. although...
- what?
- well, i've a morbid fear that if Lewis comes, he might feel obliged to bring that lonely old guy he works with.
- oh, what's his name?
- well, that, if you remember rightly, is a moot point.
- oh, yes. cause his surname's Morse and that's pretty much all he's willing to let on.
- he's like Lovejoy in that respect.
- yeah, but somehow, Lovejoy makes it a fun thing, whereas Morse is just really chippy about it.
- well, maybe his first name is just something really embarrassing, like Gaylord or Urethra...